There are many reasons why a conversation might end up in a way that we didn’t want or expect. Agreeing with Edgar Schein, in his work “Humble Inquiry”, “do less telling” is one of these reasons.
I consider one of the biggest challenges of being a coach, managing the emotional tension between telling the coachee what I would do if I were them and leading the conversation in a way that the coachee can find their own answers. Humble inquiry fits with the latter approach.
Humble inquiry implies being sincere, authentic, and curious, asking the kind of questions to which even you don’t have the answers yet. This approach of humble inquiry also matches the base on which coaching is underpinned: it’s not about me, it’s about you.
Therefore, it does not matter if, as a coach, I don’t feel great because if I had been you, I would have made different decisions. It matters how you feel now and how the decisions you make will lead you and make you feel.
Training and practice is the only way to master humble inquiry.
Comments