Once, my friend Matías asked me, “what is more important listening or asking questions?” My response to him was the following: “Asking questions is more important than listening and listening is more important than asking questions.” Then, he said, “Ok, I understood, you are saying that both are equally important.” “Not necessarily,” I answered, “for example, water and wind are two forces of nature that can be equally powerful; however, when it comes to putting out a fire, while water can be so effective, wind can have the contrary effect, being both so powerful in opposite ways.” Matías remained thoughtful for a couple of seconds and exclaimed, “ok, I think that I got it, both are important but depending on the situation”. “Not necessarily”, I responded. “Ok, now I am confused”, Matías said. “Let me put it this way,” I told him, “it doesn’t depend on the situation, it depends on how you use them accordingly to what is important during the communication process.”
I like to define communication as a purposeful dance between a sender and a receiver, involving a delicate balance between them. It is purposeful because, behind every intent of communication, there is a need for some information to either be conveyed or sought. It is a dance because it involves a coordinated interaction, sometimes the sender becomes a receiver and other times the receiver becomes a sender. And, it implies a delicate balance because for the process of communication to be effective both parties have to perform their role appropriately.
In simple terms, this is:
1. Communication involves expression and search.
2. For communication to happen, both roles have to be fulfilled: speaker and listener.
3. For communication to be effective, listening has to be active and speaking has to be assertive.
I'm looking forward to sharing with you more about this topic in my next post.
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